Psht

This is for the weekly Indie Ink writing challenge. This week I was challenged by an extremely talented writer alyssa at alyssagoesbang. I have to admit I cheated just a teensy bit on this challenge. The challenge was to look to my LEFT and write about the first blue thing I saw, but to my left is a wall that is painted completely WHITE with nothing blue on it whatsoever. So I looked to my RIGHT and saw well something blue. I am not telling what because I don't want to spoil the surprise. The story below is fiction but it is based on a real event. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. These are their stories.  Oh and I challenged Andrea. You'll be able to read her reply there." 

PS I am trying to use dialogue which I am pretty weak at using so any tips, feedback, suggestions are most welcomed. 

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Psht! Psshht! Psshht!

"Where did he go? Do you see him?" I asked Shane, who by now is doubled over laughing so hard tears are streaming down his face.

"He ran in the other room", he manages to blurt out in between fits of laughter.

"I cannot believe he did this again. I swear he does it just to piss me off. He knows he isn't allowed in there so why does he keep doing it?"

I put the can down and begin picking up the panties that Uncle Fez had scattered about the room. "Stupid idiot", I mutter as I pick up the last of them and put them back in the drawer. "I swear if he does this again, I am going to do more than get the can after him."

"Awww, Nina. Don't be so hard on him.  It's not a big deal,".

"Not a big deal?! I'd like to see how you would react if it were your underwear he kept trying on instead of mine."

"You're just jealous that he looks better in them than you do".

"Oh really! Well for your information, that pair he had on just now? I just bought those today and was planning on surprising you later. Guess which one of you WON'T be getting in my panties today?" 

Just as I turn to walk out of the room, Uncle Fez runs passed me, headed straight for my panties drawer. 

I grab the can off the dresser.Psht! Psht!  Terrified, Uncle Fez runs between Shane and me, and disappears into the guest room down the hall.

"He did it again, and right in front of me this time!" I scream at Shane, "Will you do something? Please? He's more afraid of you than he is me. Besides, aren't you a little jealous he gets in my panties more than you do?"

"Ok! Ok! Give me the can. I will go see if I can get him to give them back.".

"Thank you."  

 As Shane takes the can out of my hand, I kiss him lightly on the cheek. "My hero," I say in my most southern accent. He rolls his eyes and then starts to laugh again."I never in my whole life saw a cat so afraid of a can of air freshener before," he says as he walks down the hall towards the guest room where the extremely naughty  Uncle Fez is hiding and  protectively guarding the latest addition to his prized Victoria's Secret panty collection . 

Please visit indie author Lizzy Ford's site. She has just released her April free ebook novel, The Warlord's Secret. 

Synopsis of “The Warlord’s Secret:”

Rissa, the tormented Warlord of Tiyan, struggles to protect her people and Tiyan’s magical springs against enemies led by the King of Landis and traitors within her own walls.  She must also protect the secret of Tiyan’s magic and the source her ultimate doom: read more..

Is it Strange?Should I be concerned?

..that whenever I start setting up for dinner the cat goes and sits in "his spot"to the left of my husband and waits his turn to be "served"?

..or that if you open a bag of potato chips and he is within a 10 mile radius he will hear you and before you can eat the first chip he will appear out of nowhere and then rip the bag out of your hands and eat them all?

..or that if after ripping the bag of chips out of your hand he discovers they are "plain" instead of his favorite "hot n spicy" flavor he will leave the bag laying there spilled all over the floor and not eat any of them?

..or that when I am asleep he sits on my pillow beside my head waiting for me to wake up careful not to disturb me but occasionally just to check if I have woke up yet or not he will put his face less than 1/2 in from my face and STARE at me

..or that after he has been staring at me for about 5 mins like this I finally open my eyes to make him go away because he is freaking me out just to have him touch my shoulder with his paw and then suddenly run out of the room as if we had been playing a game of tag and he was waiting for me to wake up just to say "You're it".

.. or that whenever he is cleaning his rear paws sometimes he will hit himself in the face because he thinks the foot belongs to another cat?

..or that after he kicks himself he will bite the foot of the "other cat" in retaliation for kicking him in the face only to then kick himself again in the face because of the "other cat" who had just bitten his leg?

..or that his favorite toy is an old "fed ex" box that if we try to throw it out he goes out and brings it back just to sit inside of it and play with the "other cat"

..or that if you hold open a large plastic shopping bag, he will jump inside and if you don't swing him back and forth he will shout at you until you do

..or that when I go to the bathroom he insists upon coming too and if I don't let him in, he slides himself under the door only to then come and sit on my shoulder while I "take care of business"

..or that when I am trying to do something and he is extremely annoying and won't stop getting in my way, I go and start to pretend to set up as if we are about to have dinner so that he will go and sit in "his spot" for at least the next ten minutes and I can finish whatever it was I was doing

..or that I have used this method of distraction so often that now when I actually do set up for dinner he comes to kitchen just to "check" that I am actually about to bring dinner and only then will he go and remain seated in "his spot" and wait to be "served"

None of that is strange, is it? Nahh, I didn't think so either.

Linking up with Adventures in Mommyhood's Weekly  Sunday Funday