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Monday, May 23, 2011

Apocalypse - Indie Ink

 My weekly Indie Ink writing challenge. This week's challenge came from Tobie. The minute I read the challenge I knew exactly what direction I would go. Hopefully I did justice to the challenge which is "It's the end of the world as we know it". This week my challenge went to Mare. You'll be able to read the reply once it's up HERE

This post is fictional but it is based upon the emotions and feelings I went through caused by the abuse I survived at the hands of my father.

Trigger Warning: This post contains graphic detail of child sexual abuse. If this is a trigger for you, then please stop reading now


I almost didn't recognize the image that stared back at me from the shop's window. The face was pale. Eyes were hollow and sunken in, rimmed by black circles from countless sleepless nights. I didn't always look like this. I use to be beautiful. I use to be clean, but now things had changed. Looking at the watch on my wrist, I realized I needed to hurry or else I wasn't going to make it on time. Today was not a day I could afford to be late. 

"Don't shut the door" I shouted as I saw Marcy about to go inside. "I'm here". 
"It's about time", she said. "I thought you weren't coming."

"Is she here?" I asked. 

"Yea, she's been asking where you are." 

"Thanks. I better go find her then before she changes her mind."

As I entered the dimly lit room, I searched the dirt stained faces for June. Finally I saw her standing in the corner, waiting. I saw the relief wash over her as her eyes found me. I managed a half smile and a wave. 

"We all here now?" Marcy asked. "Okay then. Let's get started. June, whenever you're ready."

We had been meeting in this abandoned warehouse every Wednesday for more than six months now. How we all had found each other is still a blur in my mind. Somehow we just seemed to be drawn together like magnets after the "Event" occurred. We each had lived through it and needed to tell our story. We needed to be heard and the only ones to listen were those who had lived through it too. I will never forget that day. How one minute the sky was blue, the grass was green, the air crisp and fresh. Then in an instant, a darkness came across the sky. The grass died and withered away. The taste of metal fell upon my throat as I sucked tainted air into my lungs. Nothing would ever be the same again. 

When June squeezed my hand for comfort, I could feel the dampness of her palm. "Go ahead" I urged her on. She licked her lips, trying to moisten them, but her tongue was too parched. Not even the Nile could quench the thirst that lived inside of her. Inside of all of us. 

"I was six the first time", she said. Her words barely a whisper. "He gave me a lollipop and told me that my mom had asked him to "check" that I was ok. He said I might have something wrong with me and he needed to see if I was normal. He made me lie down on the sofa. I wasn't afraid at all. I just remember thinking how sweet that lollipop was, and then suddenly I felt his hand sliding up my leg. Moving aside my Barbie panties. His finger searching, probing. My body became tense and he told me to relax. That it wouldn't hurt, but that he had to find out if anything was wrong with me. If I didn't let him, then my mommy would be mad at me. I let my body relax a bit. I didn't want to get in trouble. That morning my mom had yelled at me for not picking up my toys. I didn't want to make her angry again. That is when I felt his fingers enter inside of me. Like a serpent I felt them wiggling inside of me. Devouring my innocence. Eating me from the inside out. I held my breath, praying for it to end. I must have closed my eyes because I suddenly felt his lips moving beside my ear. Felt the wetness of his tongue on my cheek. I never ate lollipops again after that day."

As I sat there beside June, looking at the trail the tears had washed clean on her dirt laden face, I saw my own reflection staring back at me. We had survived the apocalypse, but not the aftermath. The day each of us met Father Joe was the day the world as we  knew it ended.


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