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I'm participating in the Platform Building Campaign. If you're a fellow campaigner stopping by, make sure to leave me a comment if you follow me so that I can find you. Sometimes there's not a link in your profile on the GFC so I don't have a way to figure out where you came from. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and to reading your posts!!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Becoming Sam- Indie Ink

It's that time again. Indie Ink weekly writing challenge. This week my challenge came from myplaidpants. No that is not a euphemism. It's an amazing blog that you must check out. Every week these challenges get harder and harder. This week was no exception. Entwined. That is my challenge so here goes. My challenge went to SUPERmaren. Yes she is that SUPER. Her reply will be up HERE later. 


"Will you hold still for a minute?! It's difficult enough without you wiggling." 

"It itches. I told you to tell them about my sensitive skin. They were suppose to use the 100 thread count on the inside so it wouldn't itch so much".

"Don't roll your eyes at me like that."

I miss you, Sam. How am I suppose to go on without you? It's like a part of me is missing now. The best part. I can't open a photo album without your face staring back at me from each polaroid captured moment. You were always there, but now you're not and I don't know what to do. You were the leader.  I just followed you. You showed me how to live life. How to love. How to not be afraid of living. How do I live now? 

"Jamie? Sweetie? How you holding up? You okay?" 

"Yea Aunt Sarah, I'm fine". 

"Good, dear. Here have another slice of pound cake. Why, you're nothing but skin and bones. We need to fatten you up". 

Aunt Sarah means well. They all mean well, but none of them know what to say. Actually that's not true. They do know what to say, but they are afraid to say it. At least, with their words any ways. They had said it a million times with their eyes and subtle nods. They think I don't see, but I do. It should have been me. That is what they are thinking, but no one will say it. Sam was the pretty one. The smart one. The one that was going places. I was just the tag along. From the moment Sam moved to our street we became friends. I think she took pity on me. Sitting all alone on the front step, staring at the other kids playing hop scotch in the street. She walked right past them and sat down beside me on the step. 

"Want some candy?" she blurted out like we had known each other forever. From that until five days ago we were inseparable, now we were forever parted. I had never felt so lost before. I needed air. Without realizing where I was going, I walked out the front door. I could hear Aunt Sarah's voice trailing behind me, but I didn't stop to catch the words or throw back a reply. Before I knew what I was doing I found myself at the Cove. Sam and I spent many a summer's night at the Cove. Sitting on the rocks, with the frothy sea water tickling our feet. The void inside of me eased a little as the salty sea air filled my lungs.

Light faded into darkness, but I remained steadfast on my perch. As I stared into the inky waters, a clarity like no other overcame me. I knew exactly what I must do. It should have been me, and now it would be. I jumped off my perch with absolute certainty. That was the moment of my death and rebirth.

I couldn't save Sam from herself, but I could let her live. I could live for her. As her. From that day forward, I did just that. It's the reason I became a writer so that I could tell her story. Our story. It was my way of doing for her all the things I could never do or say when she was with me. I don't know if she can see me from where she is, but a part of me feels her and knows that she is happy with the life I gave her.

After all, isn't that what friends are for?


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