Welcome Fellow Campaigners!!

I'm participating in the Platform Building Campaign. If you're a fellow campaigner stopping by, make sure to leave me a comment if you follow me so that I can find you. Sometimes there's not a link in your profile on the GFC so I don't have a way to figure out where you came from. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and to reading your posts!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Jumbled in 1001 Pieces

That is an accurate description of my brain 24/7. I constantly have 1001 thoughts going around in my mind 24 hrs a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. Even when I am asleep, my mind is going racing along. It's a day to day struggle to slow my thoughts and try to filter through the non important random things that are just stuck in there and I can't seem to get rid of. Some days I can filter better than others. Some days I just go with the flow and which ever thought seems to be at the surface work on that for the moment until the next one takes it place.

In some ways this makes me super productive at work. I have 5 or 6 projects that I am currently working on so whichever jumps at me I just work a bit on that one. However some days I wish I could turn it on. The constant barrage of thoughts bombarding my brain. It is tiring. I am hoping by writing here and trying to focus more that I can slow down the thoughts. Writing brings the thoughts out of my mind and into the real world. Writing is my way of clearing out the clutter.

The great thing about blogging is that I can write something and hit publish but have it scheduled for a specific time. I don't have to wait to write. Once I finish I am done. That moment has gone. Whatever was causing me to be distracted I have removed. I don't have to worry about it. When it's suppose to appear it will. It's a great tool. It allows me to continously clear my mind and then return to my work so I can focus clearly on what I am suppose to be doing instead of the 1001 non sensical things floating through my brain.

Not only that but when those scheduled posts appear I get a chance to read what was in my mind at a particular moment. I can see what I was thinking, how I was handling, what I should have done differently. It is a way to reflect and use that as a way of growing.

I am quite certain though to those on the outside looking in I seem totally unorganized and my posts make no sense, but to me they are crystal clear. This blog is also a way for me to be able to learn how others see me. I don't always interpret things in the same manner as other people. If I post something and people reply, it's a way for me to understand how the world sees me and interprets what I am saying. It's often times easier to understand when it's a total stranger giving you feedback. Especially one who has nothing to gain and whatever they are saying is just to help you on your journey. When it's a loved one giving you  criticism "feedback" often times there is so much emotional baggage connected that we often miss what is truly being said.

This miscommunication has often led to many arguments with those closest to me. Not because we actually disagree with each other but simply because our perception of what was happening is so different it caused each of us to believe the other was arguing. When in reality neither of us were, but that misperception then caused a real argument. Afterwards, when we could discuss things, we would then realize that we were both saying the exact same thing just in very different ways. Hopefully this blog will help me to learn how to be around people. Like I said the other day, baby steps. Applying what I learn here to the real world. One post at a time.


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