I came across an amazing blog awhile back. It is as if the author of this blog was writing while reading the thoughts that twirl around in my brain. One thing which she wrote that truly hit home with me and that I wanted to share with you is this:
"It’s easy to become envious of others who seem to have something that you don’t.
But, remember -they are on their journey and you are on your journey -" Look Far
While I am all about people following their own path, I tend to focus more on helping them in their journey that I forget about my own. Making sure their journey is easy becomes my journey. I tend to focus so intently on others that I totally forget about myself. I forget about myself to such an extent that it causes others to forget about me as well. It is as if I no longer exist. If at any time during their journey, I raise my voice or want to get off or dare to disagree, then they become shocked and act as if I have changed. They act as if they don't know me, but in reality, they don't know me. All they know about me is that for however long I have been their doormat. Maybe they weren't intentionally using me or taking advantage of, but my actions led them to believe that I was truly happy to be their servant of sorts. If I don't remember me, how can I expect others to? If I don't assert my preferences, why am I surprised when no one remembers me?
I have to keep reminding myself that it is ok if I continue my journey. Maybe their journey will take them to a different place far from where I am, but that is ok too. Even if they become angry or upset that I decide to continue on my way that doesn't make me a selfish or greedy person. Somewhere I once read that in order to help others we must first help ourselves. The line between self-sacrifice and self-destruction is very thin, and it is a line I am still learning to walk.